Turning Pain Into Purpose

We all experience pain at some point in our lives. And we have a choice to make; we can either choose to let it consume us and make us bitter at heart or we can choose to turn our pain into something beautiful and meaningful. Pain is without saying an awful feeling, but it is what we choose to do with it that matters.

I created this post to help you through current and past traumas. This post was inspired by Nadia, you will find more about her in this post.

We always have the opportunity to turn any emotion into a form of art.

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How to turn your pain into purpose

Note: Most of these things are easier said than done, but doing it will bring a positive change.

💕Allow yourself to feel

If you want to cry, cry. Let it all out. There is no point in collecting the pain and holding on to it, suppressing it will only turn it into hate and anger that will be directed at the wrong people/things. Just make sure you don’t stay in that depressing place when allowing yourself to completely feel the pain.

💕Try to focus on the solution and not the problem

So now you’ve felt the pain completely, now what? It is time to start moving forward, to find the beauty in all these experiences. Give a meaning to it that will help you move forward positively.

Meanings like: everything happens for a reason; this will make me wiser and stronger; this will help me in future struggles; God/The Universe or whatever you may believe in is preparing you for a happy life etc.

One of the best things that helped me grow recently is to look at my bad memories and finding the good in them. Looking at the person who hurt me, and to remember what I admired in them and still do. To look at the person who hurt me, and feeling grateful for the good and bad, for the bad has made me much wiser and stronger. In the end, the bad wasn’t bad, it was a stepping stone to greatness.

💕Passion/Hobbies

This is a great place to start. Pain is a powerful emotion, and when it is directed to doing things you love doing, the beauty becomes amplified. Focus on doing things that bring you joy and happiness.

💕 It’s about creating the future you deserve

Stop looking back if it causes you more pain.

You are the creator of your own future. Create a life you love. You deserve to live a long, happy, and fulfilled life. Never accept anything less than you deserve.

Who is your ideal self? answer this and work towards that ideal version of you.

💕Set yourself free

You deserve to be free from everything that weighs you down, whether it is the past, pain, grief, hate, etc. you owe it to yourself to be happy.

💕Gratitude

Turning to gratitude is the fastest way to feel better and turn your pain into purpose, for there is always something to be grateful for, sometimes it only takes a bit more effort to find it.

The power of Gratitude

Quotes

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A woman of strength

Nadia Ngcobo (19)

Nadia is the beautiful young lady who inspired todays post. She is truly a remarkable woman. She is kindhearted and passionate, she spreads goodness and empowerement wherever she goes. She has learnt to put her pain towards good.

She speaks at schools and tries to relate to the stories she hears and tries to help people realize that there is a lot that can come out of pain. She tries to empower these students, as well as contribute sanitary pads, school uniforms, cosmetics, etc. by gaining sponsorships and donations.

Her mother physically and emotionally abused her and even deprived her of food. When she was finally taken into custody she learned how to turn her pain into art; by writing and speaking and helping others. She strives to be a better person than her mother was.

Not too long ago she was also sexually harassed and is still working through some emotions. Thank you Nadia for being so strong, and able to share the terrible things that have happened to you, and to still treat people with kindness and love.

Nadia has already accomplished quite a few things in her life. She was deputy head girl at her school. In 2019 she was South Africa Champion in Afrikaans speakers (redenaars) which is an amazing accomplishment. Like I’ve said before, she speaks at schools, contributes to them physically and mentally. Nadia is destined for greatness.

Nadia’s contribution to Youth Day 2021 South Africa

Something extra: This speech landed her a job offer

Here is the Audio from the Voice Of the Community Radio if you would prefer listening to her speak.

THE YOUTH OF TODAY VERSUS THE YOUTH OF 1976

They were bruised, battered, killed and they rioted, fighting for education. 45 years later, was the uprising worth the lives of the youth of 1976, or has their struggle gone down the drain as the youth of today plunges on resources bringing about negative change?

If the mandate was education, why do we still have schools lacking basic infrastructure and study material? We have an education system that focuses more on the theory of things rather than skills that will equip the youth for the outside world ensuring that they are independent and not dependent on foreign manipulated companies.

If education is important, why do we have so many graduates sitting at home because they do not meet the ridiculous job experience requirements and lack employment opportunities? What message are we bringing across to the young ones that are yet to go to university? Universities that financially excluded students because of their historical debts while they have millions sitting in their bank accounts. Is the South African education system still colonized or is its independence constantly being altered to accommodate the standards of the youth? I mean we went from a 50% pass rate to a 30% pass rate that’s a decline in the progression of our education.

With an unemployment rate of 16,9% in 1976 and an increase to 28,48% in 2020, have we progressed or are we going backward as a country with a laid-back youth? What happened to the spirit of Soweto Uprising martyrs? What happened to the fight for quality education? Why can’t we fight for our rights as we fight for Gender-Based Violence, Fees Must Fall, and the acceptance of the LGBQTI+ community? 

We commit crimes because of unemployment. We live in a society where politicians bathe in corruption and take pride in racketeering. How then do we complain about the 0.7% increase in contact crimes? How then do we continue with an increase in youth pregnancies when we have so many pregnancy preventative methods put in place to control the birth rate? Do we care more about our sexual urges or are we breaking the cycle of raising children in dysfunctional and financially struggling households? We prefer graduating in the form of a child rather than in the form of an academic degree. We live off social grants instead of contributing towards social grants.

Is there anything that the youth of today can show the youth of 1976 for their fight towards where we are today? What is freedom if our minds are still enslaved by colonization? Where is the progression? We are not the tomorrow of this country, we are the today, the now of South Africa. When will we wake up and smell the coffee? When will use the South African Youth council to our advantage? How many seats do we occupy in the Parliament? When will we have our own uprising towards unemployment, education, and the history of our country and continent? 

We as the youth should benefit from government set-asides in government procurement. Let enterprises get contracts if they can prove that 25% of their employees are youth. Let the Government develop legislation that will ensure that the private sector procures 50% of its goods from the youth and local enterprises.

As a young person of South Africa, I want to participate in the value chain. I want to have a say in matters that include me.

Can the youth not venture into agriculture without an increase in farm murders? In March 2021, farm murders increased to 35 from 22. When noble laureate Desmond Tutu called us a rainbow nation it was in reference to the diversity in our country and our ability to perhaps one day live in interracial harmony where colour is just colour. Where colour is not a privilege to some and a crime to others. We kill the very farmers that we want to supply us with local organic vegetables and livestock. We kill the very framers that contribute a lot to this country’s agriculture.  

When I look at my fellow peers, I see future Vusi Themekwayo(s), future Ludwick Marishane(s), I see future Addi Pienaar(s) because we have the potential to be far more than what we’re settling for. We’re too comfortable in poverty. We’re too comfortable with this education. We’re too comfortable with racism. We’re too comfortable in being uncomfortable.

I don’t know you but I’m emancipating myself from colonial mental slavery, racism, corruption, Gender-Based Violence, a colonially influenced education system and I’m creating employment opportunities for myself and the future generation. I am emancipating myself from a country that’s taking one step forward and ten steps backward. I am not the tomorrow of South Africa, I am the today of South Africa. I am the now of South Africa.  I am South Africa.

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Questions to Nadia

What are your hobbies?

I crochet, knit, write and sing.

What is the one thing you look forward to when you wake up?

I look forward to talking to My Love, hearing him tell me how his day is and how much he loves me. I look forward to praying with him, for him, and our families. I look forward to laughing with him. I look forward to growing with him

Favorite colour: Black

Favorite song: Best Part

Favorite author: John Green

Favorite food: Mcdonalds burger

Favorite snack: Doritos

Favorite poem: I rise by Maya Angelo

Favorite person: Jean-Pierre (my boyfriend)

What are your three favorite books?

  • A fault in our stars
  • The Great Gatsby
  • Bear The Blessers Game

How do you define success?

Success is being contented with what you have because you worked hard for it. Success is Love. Success is Happiness and Success is Hope.

What fuels your passion?

Pain. Whatever pain I go through I turn it into something positive and also art. My mother and I aren’t close so the pain she brings me drives me to the better.

What do you want to be?

I want to do Law and become a Human rights lawyer. I have been sexually harassed multiple times so I want to fight for those that cannot fight for themselves.

Who do you look up to the most and why?

Myself. I’ve never met anyone as strong as me so I look up to the person I was yesterday because the person I was yesterday drives me to become a better person today.

My mother never encouraged me to do anything, and she was always against anything I did, so I decided that I am not even going to impress her and I am going to prove myself right. I am going to prove to myself that I am the woman who I say I am. That I am a fountain of grace, strength, and prayer. I don’t work to prove anyone wrong, I work to prove myself right.

Make yourself proud

What inspires and motivates you?

My mother’s inability to love me. Pain and will to be everything that my mother isn’t.

What do you believe in and try to promote?

Responsible citizenship and being the Voice of The Oppressed.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I see myself as a UN speaker representing those that are oppressed by the justice system and men.

How would you describe yourself?

Bold and unapologetic.

5 things you are grateful for

  • Life
  • Family
  • Love
  • Peace
  • Freedom of expression

Do you love yourself?

Yes, I do, to love someone else I need to love myself first.

Would you describe yourself as a confident person?

Yes, I rise above everything with my head held high.

Your best tip on self-love and confidence

Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and cannot be. Never do things to impress people there don’t prove work to prove them wrong, work to prove yourself right.

If you had one year left to live, what would you do?

I would enrich more lives and appreciate the ones I love more.

Do you have any regrets?

Yes. When I got sexually harassed, and my boyfriend warned me but I didn’t listen, if I had listened I wouldn’t have gotten harassed

What are the things you wish to experience and learn about?

I want to experience the love of a mother and learn to forgive and let go of things I cannot control.


What do you think makes life meaningful?

Letting go of the past, living in the present, and looking forward to the future.

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A written piece by Nadia

With tears falling from the corner of her eyes and voice screaming from deep within her soul, he pressed hard against her pride, soul ties that were awaiting marriage, and bold eyes which dug deeper into her soul as she begged for mercy from a merciless cologne infused her purity, silenced her cry and diminished her smile. Even with her eyes closed, she can still see the callous smirk that was once disguised as a courteous young gent raised by an African mother and breastfed by her pain. She felt her insides go numb as her body laid still. Her closed opening burn but the fluids meant to protect her leisurely watching like a wounded activist, stained robes which used to be whiter than the finest grains of virgin snow. Still.. from screaming until her veins mapped the road to Eden, from her hands scratching and pushing to her legs kicking and frozen she went still… for the only voice she had left, was the polluted river whose flows flowed like stretchmarks mapped like the roots of a fruitful apple tree. And even though the sheets were left scarred by a virgin’s cry for mercy. Like the color of her skin, it was her destiny just as it was her ancestors’.


Thank you Nadia for sharing your authentic self 🦋

Can you relate to turning your pain into passion?

Hope you took some value from this post.

Much love and abundance

🙏❤

Doing what is best for you

You should respect yourself enough to be able to do what is best for you.

You will live a much more happy and fulfilled life once you start doing what is best for you.

Doing what is best for you means to make decisions that will benefit you, and make you feel better about who you are. Stop feeling bad for wanting to put yourself first, you may not see it as I do, but you are way more important for you to look after than anybody else, and the more you look after yourself, the more capable of looking after others you become.

Do what is best for you so that you can become your very best version.

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How you can do what is best for you

👣Use your time and energy wisely

Something bad, but minor just happened, do you spend hours ranting, complaining, or feeling mad about it? Is it serving you to feel this way? You could have used all that time and bad energy and put it towards something better.

👣Goals

You probably have goals, work on achieving them.

If you don’t have goals, get out a piece of paper and think about what it is you want.

Where is it getting you to not work on your goals? Where could you have been if only you did what you wanted to do. Start now and stop waiting.

👣Stop the people pleasing act

There lies great value in helping people, but there also lies attachment to gaining validation. The moment you want to help a person to feed your ego, you are people pleasing.

👣Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to

Make sure you dont procrastinate doing tasks to a point where they are completely delayed or incomplete.

Get your grind on and take care of all your responsibilities

👣Adopt a Growth mindset

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👣Watch out for toxic/unexceptable relationships/behavior

The longer you stay in something that is not good for you, the harder it will be to let go.

Inconsistent behavior and flakiness are poor foundations for a relationship, and suggest a lack of respect. Self-respecting people have no time for those who waste their time.

They also refuse to tolerate any kind of abuse or poor treatment.
http://powerfulmind.co/start-doing-whats-best-for-you/

👣Live a healthy lifestyle

You have probably heard these things a million times, but its because it is the truth:

  • Exercise regularly
  • Drink water
  • Keep a water bottle while you work on something
  • Keep your environment clean
  • Have house plants, or an air purifier
  • ect.

👣Understand your worth

You should know your value. You should know whether someone is worthy of spending time with you. I am saying to do this in a humbling manner, it is more about spending your time with people who are worth it.

👣Find work you love and give it your all

Okay, we are still in the middle of a pandemic and jobs are being lost day by day and it becomes harder to keep a job never mind getting a new one, but I believe you can still do other things you are passionate about and turn it into your job over time.

With the right mindset, enough willpower, dedication, and passion you can make anything work.

👣Do the right thing

You will feel better about yourself for standing up for what you believe in or protecting someone when being wronged or even for rather telling the truth than lying. This will help you build your self-worth and self-respect.

👣Try to avoid gossip

I enjoy gossip, but I’ve seen what negative effects it can have both internally and externally. If you want to do what is best for you, you will commit to better conversation and stay away from mindless gossip.

Do you feel good after gossiping, after dragging someone’s name through the mud?

👣Fomo-fear of missing out

When experiencing FOMO, and you decided to miss out on a party or event because you have things you have or want to do, remember your reasons. Whatever you are doing is probably much worth than hours spent talking nonsense and being somewhere that will get you nowhere. You are missing out for a reason, and why see it as missing out when you chose to do something more worth your time.

👣Embrace making changes

When something doesn’t feel right, or if something no longer serves you, embrace making changes.

👣Make yourself proud

👣What it means to truly love yourself

👣Set yourself free

👣Live life in full bloom

👣How you start your morning determines how your day goes

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Poem– I have to do what’s best for me

Our connection is something devine

so I stuck by your side for the longest time

aware of the path that is full of self distruction

but oh, how can you say no to the sweet seduction

~

You gave me a one year trial

I know now where ‘us’ would lead

I’ve known months ago, but I was in denial

For the last time, my heart shall bleed

~

You were all I ever wanted

but your inconsistant behavior made me fix my vision

a journey of self-love and development has started

I had made my final decision

~

I have to give up on us, for me

No longer will I be

trapped in an unwanted reality

Now I finally see

I have to do what’s best for me

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Quotes:


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I hope you enjoyed this post, feel free to share any experiences, thoughts, or anything random with me in the comment section.

Sending some love and abundance to you on this beautiful Saturday!

Thank you for visiting 😉❤

Set yourself free

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Today I came here bringing you a message -to set yourself free- so that you can go forth happily, thriving, and inspired.

Do you feel trapped by your circumstances, emotions, thoughts, and by the people around you?

Guess what?! so do most of us, but the good thing is that we have the capabilities to set ourselves free, but first we must decide to set ourselves free or continue to feel drained and caged in with nowhere to go. The truth is that happiness is a choice, and happiness also comes with being authentic and free.

Set yourself free from everything holding you back, from your negative beliefs/thoughts, from the past, from self-doubt, from anything that no longer serves you.

k.tolnoe

How to set yourself free

Journal

Take some time to journal and find out what is holding you back. Ask yourself around which topic you’ve felt negative lately? Where in your life do you feel held back and why? What emotions and thoughts are no longer serving me?

I also do these regular affirmations in my journal:

  • I let go of everything that no longer serves me.
  • I let go of all that doesn’t serve my highest self.
  • I release all negative thoughts surrounding _____.
  • I release all that no longer serves me and expand into my highest potential.
  • I turn every negative situation into a positive outcome.
  • I have a growth mentality.
  • Every day I become a better person.
  • With each passing day, my thoughts purify more and more.

Take a step back, and breath

Sometimes a break and a change of perspective are all we need to continue forward. Start seeing your challenges as opportunities for growth.

Get clear on who you are, who you want to become, and what you expect out of life.

Awarness is always key!

Take out a journal and jot everything down, and be truly honest with yourself. Figure out who you are, what your values are, what will bring you more happiness, what do you stand for, what will fuel your passion, what you can do to better your life, etc.

Don’t obsess over results

Focusing on goals can become a problem because it makes us prisoners of those goals, and we only laser-focus on results. By focusing on developing the right habits, i.e., on processes, it becomes easy for us to do the things necessary for living an awesome life.

Focus on developing the right habits and to set yourself free from being obsessed with results!

One Percent Better Team

In short, become progress/habit orientated instead of result orientated.

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Get clear on your goals and vision

By knowing your goals, you can live your life accordingly Working towards something that you want to achieve for yourself will make you a lot more fulfilled and happy and make you feel less trapped or lost.

Perfection is an illusion

Stop striving for ultimate perfection, there is no such thing. By trying to be too perfect you will start to lose interest and motivation and go into a spiral of self-critique.

Push through

Sometimes the only thing we can do is keep our mouths shut and push through. In a way, this is also stepping outside of your comfort zone because you are doing something that you don’t necessarily want to do but most probably have to do.

Authenticity ~ Be your true self

Be you and do you. You don’t have to put on a fake facade to please others, the only person you need to please is you. Embrace your imperfections.

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Work on yourself

Learn to love the person you are while working on becoming your ideal version of yourself.

There is no better project than yourself. When you become the greatest version of yourself, you can serve the world on a higher and more authentic level.

Stop seeking outer validation and approval

Seeking approval from others is a path of destruction. Why do we seek approval though? because of low self-esteem, because we are mean to ourselves and need others to validate our good characteristics.

Start approving of yourself. Again. Do you. Be unapologetically you. Work on yourself and praise yourself every step of the way. Selflove is key to breaking away from this toxic habit of searching for approval and validation from others.

Social media

This goes hand in hand with my previous point. If you post something or whatever else, whether other people see it or not, comment or not, etc, it shouldnt matter to you.

The other thing about social media, is it making you feel good about yourself or not, do you feel motivated and inspired or drained and negative. Watch your feelings closely when it comes to scrolling on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, and decide for yourself whether continuing to spend endless hours scrolling is getting you where you want to be.

FOMO (Fear of missing out)

FOMO is an awful feeling and it is one of those things that can really weigh down on you. To get rid of FOMO I usually try to focus on doing something I enjoy or doing one of my tasks and convince myself that everything happens for a reason and that I don’t need them, I don’t need to be there with them, I am perfectly happy being by myself doing what I love.

Forgiveness

At some point, we have to let go of the past by forgiving those who’ve hurt us and by forgiving ourselves for the mistakes we made, after all, we are all flawed human beings and we all make mistakes. No one is perfect.

"Holding a grudge doesn't make you strong, it makes you bitter, forgiving doesn't make you weak, it sets you free". -Unknown

Set your mind to look for opportunities

Energy flows where attention goes. If you keep focusing on the thing that makes you feel trapped with no intention of finding your way out, you will most likely stay there. No one is going to save you. It is up to you to make a small shift and start to think about or see opportunities.

Step outside of your comfort zone to widen your vision. Opportunities are waiting for us at every corner, it is our job to identify them and then to take action.

Hobbies

Break away from all the stress and negative thoughts and emotions by doing something you love. Try to make time for yourself every single day. A hobby is a form of self-love.

Gratitude

I know everyone in the spiritual sense says to turn to gratitude, but I personally know that it isn’t always the easiest thing to do. We forget most times that we indeed have so many things to be grateful for. I suggest you have a small gratitude reminder that whenever you see it no matter what you’re going through that you will start to feel gratitude surfacing.

Also read:

7 ways to set yourself free

Live life in full bloom


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Today my blog reached a new milestone: 10 000 views 😀❤

I am grateful for every like, comment, share, and follower I receive. Your support means the world to me 🌍🙌

I hope you enjoyed reading this post and that you gained some value from it.

Much love and abundance, take good care

🌸🌸🌸

Thank you for joining me, feel free to share your thoughts

🌸🌸🌸

How you start your morning determines how your day goes

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The energy you bring into your day can have a lasting effect on the rest of your day. Your intention, energy, and mindset should be used to your advantage at the beginning of each day so that you could live your day to your fullest potential and reach your goals more easily.

🌸🌸🌸

Ways to improve how you start your day:

🌸Before going to bed at night

-visualize what you want to do and accomplish during the next day. (Set your intention)

-Set an alarm for early in the morning (My sweet spot is usually between 5 and 6 a.m) If you have work/school, set your alarm for at least 2 hours beforehand. Those two hours can help a lot each day.

If you are someone who needs many alarms to get out of bed, set one half an hour before, one for 10 minutes before and one for 5 minutes before, but get up physically at the five minutes before one so that you still have 5 more minutes to get your act together… Remember to try overtime to get rid of snoozing.

🌸Waking up

-Wake up with a smile. I have found that this improves my mood and positivity tremendously during the day.

Each day is a blessing, and you can treat it as such with a smile.

-Don’t lay in bed longer, get out of bed.

-Make up your bed, because then you’ve already completed a simple task for the day, embedding discipline.

🌸Have a Morning Routine

P.S this is just the tip of the iceberg of the things you can do in the morning. Find a morning routine that suits you.

-Go over your goals for the day (mentally or already have a to-do list). Look forward to completing them; mindset is important.

-Meditate/Journal/Practice gratitude/Read. Do something to improve yourself mentally and/or spiritually.

-Workout for 5-30minutes. This is also a huge mood and determination booster for me.

-Watch a morning motivational video

-Listen to morning affirmations

-Drink a glass of water. Already have a glass of water waiting for you next to your bed.

-Don’t check your social media, you’ll get distracted.


I have found most of these things listed above very helpful to improve my day, productivity, and mood.

Please feel free to share:

-anything you’ve found helpful to have a more successful day

-your morning routine or something you also do in the mornings

-any thoughts at all, related and unrelated🤗

-something random/interesting

Thanks for reading❤

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COVID isn’t the only thing that is contagious

Energies are too!

Whatever you are thinking or feeling, you are projecting onto others.

We each have a chance to influence others. We each have a choice to carry positive or negative vibes/energies. We have the choice to spread love or spread hatred.

Energies are contagious~Make sure yours is worth sharing

mysacredenergy.com › your-energy
Your Energy Is Contagious – My Sacred Energy

We have the power to leave a positive impact on the world with every single encounter.

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Improve positivity

🌸Awareness

Observe your thoughts. See where there is room for improvement. Teach yourself to immediately find a positive outlook if you catch yourself being negative.

🌸Focus on your goals

Do more of what you love. Go after your wildest dreams and goals.

🌸Find more ways to improve yourself, physically, emotionally, spiritually/religiously.

🌸Affirmations

🌸Gratitude

Count your blessings. Keep a daily gratitude journal. Truly feel grateful, for you are blessed in so many ways.

🌸In any situation, step back and look for the silver line. There is some good in any situation, always.

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🌸Try to see the good in others

🌸Surround yourself with positive people

🌸Make more time for the people you love

🌸Practice positive self-talk

🌸Try new things

🌸Listen to music. Music is proven to be a good mood booster and stress reliever.

🌸Don’t voverthink

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I see negative energy as wasted energy, and sadly I’ve wasted so much energy these last few weeks and it is time for a change, time to become a better and more optimistic person for my well-being and others.

I wrote this blog as a personal reminder and hopefully a reminder to you as well, to stay positive and keep spreading love and everything beautiful.

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Thanks for reading🕊❤

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Beauty

First of all, happy international womens day💕
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What Makes A Woman Beautiful? · Evie Magazine

2-6% of women describe themselves as beautiful (according to research)

Isn’t it just heartbreaking to know so many women don’t see themselves as beautiful?

If you are one to doubt your self beauty or don’t feel beautiful or attractive, here are some ways to change and/or improve it.

🌺Feel comfortable/ sexy/ confident with what you are wearing, if you are feeling self-conscious about something about your outfit, change it because your insecurity/self-consciousness will be felt by others.

🌺Know that you are beautiful. You are unmistakeably and breathtakingly beautiful and you should not even for a second doubt it. You were put here on earth by God/ the Universe, so why doubt your beauty when you were beautifully made with purpose?

🌺Smile. Smile more. Smile randomly. Smile at something stupid that someone said years ago. Smile at anything silly. Smile, just smile. In my eyes, there is nothing more beautiful than a genuine smile.

🌺This goes hand in hand with smiling, laugh. Laughter is healing, powerful and a great mood booster.

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🌺Do more of what you love.

Find hobbies. Journal, read paint, anything at all you find fulfilling. Go after what makes you happy and meaningful or even if you think it is pointless. Let me explain the pointless part, I have many hobbies I find pointless, that most likely won’t get me anywhere in life, but I keep on doing it, why? because it gets me into a flow state, ’cause I enjoy it and get satisfaction.

Doing what you love helps to connect you with your deeper self and will leave you appreciating and loving yourself more wich will automatically help you feel more beautiful.

🌺Positive self-affirmations. Trust me, they are powerful when it comes to reprogramming your mind.

🌺Never compare yourself to anyone, to models on media, your best friend, your worst enemy or even your sibling. You are your own kind of beautiful.

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🌺Practice gratitude.

🌺 Exercise, drink water, and eat something healthy. Your body is a temple, treat it as such.

I am not one to speak when it comes to eating healthy at all, believe me, I don’t eat anything that comes out of the ocean, I don’t eat most vegetables and I am big on my sugars. I even drink 4 sugars with my coffee, but I drink less coffee and more black sugarless tea to make up for it. I drink a glass of water when waking up sometimes. I excercise 1-3 times a month.

Basically I want to say that all the little things count. Find simple ways and start small.

🌺Wear red.

A study from researchers at the University of Rochester found women were considered more attractive when they were wearing red clothing. In another study out of Manchester University, red lips were shown to grab attention for an average of 7.3 seconds. No matter where you’re wearing it, looks like the color red will likely attract people to you and make you feel more confident, too.

I feel more fierce, more attractive, and confident when wearing red. Wearing red automatically boosts your confidence.

🌺Stand tall, straighten your back, do a power pose. It all builds confidence subconsciously.

🌺Take care of yourself. Do things that make you feel more beautiful and feminine. Make a DIY face mask, do your nails, cover it with an invisible coat even, have a long bubble bath with your favorite music in the background.

🌺Set goals and work towards them. Try achieving a simple goal each day.

🌺Practice self-love and self-acceptance in any way you know how.

It is time that you love and appreciate and believe in yourself. You are worthy of feeling beautiful. You are worthy of your own love. You are worthy just because you are you. You are enough. In fact, you are more than enough. You are amazing beyond compare.

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Thanks for reading and I hope you found something that resonated with you.

Much love and abundance. Stay awesome and keep improving🔥❤

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Confidence is a skill

Yes, confidence comes naturally, but only to some. Confidence is a skill, and just like any other skill, you have the power to master it and I hope with this blog post that you will do just that.

Definition of confidence:

a feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.

There you have it, self-assurance and appreciation. Love yourself. Better yourself. Appreciate yourself. Affirm yourself. Assure yourself.

Fake it till you make it. Just fake being confident. Posture straight, chest out, and shoulders back. Talk loud and clear enough.

When in a conversation, let things flow, don’t search for something to say, nearly missing all the details of what he or she is telling you. Let words come naturally, and if no words are there then let them be.

Step outside of your comfort zone more often. Do the things that give you anxiety.

Believe in yourself. You can do this!

Wear things that make you feel confident and sexy. If you look good, you’ll feel good, which means you’re self-assured. Make sure you look good for yourself and not others. Feel comfortable in what you wear too.

Smile and keep your arms uncrossed.

Don’t be self-conscious. Don’t focus on yourself too much. It makes it much easier to be confident.


Thanks for reading and feel free to leave any related and unrelated thoughts, I am always happy to hear what you have to say.

Take care🤗💞

How to stop judging others

We judge people on a day to day basis, we even judge ourselves! I wanted to talk about this topic because I too judge other people. No, I am not even a bit proud of judging others and comparing myself to them in a negative way. It is something that I am slowly trying to work out of my life.

Judging is a natural thing, but do you really want to waste energy on something as negative as judging and comparing. I know I certainly don’t and I hope you join me in on this journey to stop judging and downgrading other people.

(Yes I know, there is a positive comparing too, I am only talking about getting rid of every negative aspect in this post.)

Why do we judge?

After doing my fair amount of research I’ve found a simple, and yet, maybe even obvious answer…

*ego* is the core of judgment.

Judgment is an ego trap. The ego competes. We compare ourselves. This is one aspect I failed to include in my previous post (3 Levels of self-comparison)- When we compare ourselves and see ourselves better as they are, we are putting them below us. This is just as bad as, almost even worse than it is to compare ourselves and be unhappy with who we are. We feel better about ourselves when putting others down, so long story short, you are feeding the ego when putting yourself above another person in any way.

The other two common reasons why we judge others are jealousy and our own insecurities.

Yes, judging can be fun, gossiping judgments with your friends, especially frenemies, are even more fun, don’t tell me you’ve never felt good gossiping? In a group it brings a sense of relatability, you share the same judgments and thoughts. As I said, it’s an ego trap, get yourself out of it!

You see that pretty quote you just read a few seconds ago? Read it again. Judging defines who you are and what your values are. Judging is not a pretty look even though it seems so.

Judging other people can have a negative effect on them, or if they are like me, those judgments probably won’t matter, but the thing is, most people don’t take judgment lightly. In fact, you can be bringing some of their worst insecurities or self-judgments and throw them right in their face.

Don’t judge somebody if you haven’t walked a mile in their shoes.

How to stop Judging other people

1. Awareness is key. Become aware when you judge.

2. Immediately tell yourself “Stop it!”

After telling yourself to stop it, tell yourself why you should stop. Tell your mind things like:

  • I don’t know what their life path is all about. We are walking two separate paths
  • I am in no position to judge
  • I am not perfect, neither are they

3. Think about three things that you like about them. It could be something they wear, how they look, how they are wearing their hair or something like their laugh. It could be anything at all.

Sometimes it can be hard, I know, but it is important to reprogram your mind, and what better way to do so, than trading the negative in for the positive?

4. Reflect. Think of the specific judgment that came to mind and think about why you thought this. Usually, something inside of us is wrong and we take it out in funny ways like judgment.

Make a list of scenes and situations when you have judged someone and why you have judged them. Analyze everything thoroughly, this will help you understand yourself better and help you to not judge in the next situation.

5. Remember that word I used earlier, aka, Gossip? Stop all the childish gossip and find something better to discuss than people and their choices in life.

6. Choose your sircle of trust wisely.

Did you know that you are the average person of the five people you spend most of your time with?

So knowing this, won’t you want to surround yourself with the best kind of people? Energies are contagious, so find your high vibe tribe!

7. Do some other self-growth activities, whether spiritual, emotional, or physical. You’ll feel better about yourself and feel less the need to judge someone else.

If you are on the receiving end of this, the one being judged, just remember that it’s their opinion and perspective of you. It may even be jealousy/envy and their own insecurities. Don’t let them get to you. Be who you are, be who you want to be, do what you want to do, and just enjoy your life the way that you want to.


Hope this was helpful🌸 Please feel free to share any related and unrelated thoughts/opinions🤗💞

I have decided that I will be posting every day. Thursdays I’ll be posting flash fiction.

Please never be afraid of giving me a critique, if you don’t agree or didn’t like something, please let me know. The critique will let me know where I can adjust and make improvements for the future. ~Please feel free to always be honest with me.

Thanks for all the support. I truly appreciate every comment, shared thoughts, and experiences, every like and follow.

Enjoy life. Be happy. And be your most authentic self.🌸

Why you should stop caring what people think

Caring what other people think will be the ultimate cause of unhappiness.

Unknown

1. It steals your happiness and freedom.

It makes you feel self-conscious and wary of everything you do and that is no way to live a life.

Do you really want to be imprisoned by their expectations and opinions? Hold yourself back, change yourself, all for what? If there is one thing I’ve learned is that people will judge you no matter what. People differentiate, and it’s not our job to make them like us.

I caught myself hesitating to publish a blog post, because I was wondering- Will the people who view it, like it? Is it good enough? I doubted myself for a moment, but do you know what? I decided I like the post, it is good enough for me and I scheduled it for publishing. Which brings me to my next point.

2. You can’t satisfy everyone.

P.S this is my favorite actress. Who is your favorite actor/actress?

Most of us are raised to be people-pleasers, I know I certainly was in some aspects. People pleasing becomes a bad thing when you value their happiness over yours, people are responsible for their own happiness. It really isn’t your job to satisfy everyone and no matter what, there will always be someoen unhappy. Realise that you and every other person are in totally different worlds, you have different perspectives and you percieve reality different.

People Pleasing hides the real you.

3. It keeps you from your goals and dreams

We would rather do the things that we don’t necessarily want to do, just because it gains us approval. I hear many successful people say that their parents didn’t support their goals, that their parents had another goal for them at the time and were against them becoming an actor/actress, comedian, gamer, singer ect.

What do all those successful people have in common? They didn’t care that no one supported them, that no one approved of their dream. They took risks. They simply believed in themselves.

4. They don’t know what’s best for you

Only you can decide in life what’s best for you. Only you can decide if you’ve made the right choices. Do you want to care so much what people think that one day you look back and realize you’ve done nothing that you actually wanted to do?

It’s your life live it your way. They had/have their chance in life. Life is simply too short to live your life according to them and their expectations for you.

5. Opinions change constantly anyways

A person can suddenly hate you and then like you and vice versa, so why even bother? If they like you or don’t, let ’em be. Once again, you can’t satisfy everyone.

Thanks for reading and remember to be you to the fullest. Approve of yourself. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Motivate yourself. Set your own expectations. Have goals and dream big.

Sorry for the age inappropriateness, but I just love this quote🔥

I am NEVER bored, here’s why…

Believe me when I say that I was an irritating little girl that nearly died of boredom every single day, nagging in everyone’s ears, never satisfied for long with any project, walking up and down a room, sighing, all just to let them know that I am seriously bored.

My grandmother is the main reason that I’m never bored. I told her for, give or take, the hundredth time that I’m bored. My grandmother set her paintbrush aside and looked at me really looked at me, a look that made me swallow my words and pay close attention.

My grandmother was an artist of every kind, I never heard her complaining when it came to boredom. She knew how to draw, paint with different mediums, color, doodle, write, works with pastels, do bobbin lace, knitting, crochet, make greeting cards, paint rocks, bake; whatever could be done with the hands she could probably do. She was also a collector of stamps, that kept her busy for hours for weeks trying to sort everything out.

Though I can’t remember her exact words, she pointed out to me that if you’re bored you’re not living your life but instead wasting it… It is true, isn’t it? People spend hours feeling bored although there’s a lot one can do.

The opposite of happiness is not sadness. It’s boredom.

~Unknown

So? how am I never bored:

  • Even if there’s nothing I want to do or nothing that needs to be done, I dream big, I travel into my past or visualize my future.
  • I have many hobbies and interests
  • I am busy learning a new language
  • I like taking care of my body- exercise, skincare, long baths
  • I improve my environment-tidy up, declutter
  • Social media, isn’t it just a wonderful gift?
  • I discovered my passion~writing
  • I am a curious person
  • If a thing doesn’t interest me anymore, I move on. As simple as that. (I have a hard time committing to things for a long period., but I don’t allow it to keep me from doing something else, I also don’t let the feeling of boredom creep into my system.)
  • I have pets, that need to be taken care of and need my undivided love and attention
  • I have my fair share of chores
  • Friends and family
  • Gratefulness also plays its part
  • My three most-used apps, besides WordPress of course.YouTube. Pinterest. Instagram.
  • I see boredom as a negative emotion, and I try to rid of it. I don’t like how boredom used to make me feel, it took some time to get rid of boredom but it’s worth it.
  • WordPress, how could you be bored when there are thousands of different articles and people?
  • I love learning and trying new things
  • I have a younger sibling, and she’s a handful
  • School/Studies

I’m always doing something even when I’m doing nothing.

The two most helpful things to never be bored, in my opinion, would be passion and curiosity.

Are you a person who is bored often? Are you never bored? How do you keep yourself busy? How do you spend your days? What is your passion in life? Please tell me more about yourself in the comments, I genuinly would love to hear all about you🤗

Please check out Blanca’s page https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/107419381

Thanks for stopping by, enjoy what is left of the day. Namaste🌸

…..Something completely of topic😜🤗

Today the most insightful realization hit me. I have changed so much this year, in the most positive way. One of my goals for this year was self-growth, ’cause last year was a rollercoaster of the good and bad, and it was time for an internal change. I only realized hours after I properly woke, that I actually had an awful beginning this morning and the rest of my day also didn’t go according to plan. I had a goal to try and get in routine for this week because on Monday it is back to school for me, but nothing worked in my favor. Long story short, all my plans and goals were demolished and I had no power over it, and it didn’t affect my mood as much, in the past, I would’ve been negative and grumpy the rest of the day… I just felt the need to share this for some reason… Heres to self-growth🥂🍻 I hope Lockdown/2020 brought something special or positive into your life aswell🔥🤗