Turning Pain Into Purpose

We all experience pain at some point in our lives. And we have a choice to make; we can either choose to let it consume us and make us bitter at heart or we can choose to turn our pain into something beautiful and meaningful. Pain is without saying an awful feeling, but it is what we choose to do with it that matters.

I created this post to help you through current and past traumas. This post was inspired by Nadia, you will find more about her in this post.

We always have the opportunity to turn any emotion into a form of art.

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How to turn your pain into purpose

Note: Most of these things are easier said than done, but doing it will bring a positive change.

💕Allow yourself to feel

If you want to cry, cry. Let it all out. There is no point in collecting the pain and holding on to it, suppressing it will only turn it into hate and anger that will be directed at the wrong people/things. Just make sure you don’t stay in that depressing place when allowing yourself to completely feel the pain.

💕Try to focus on the solution and not the problem

So now you’ve felt the pain completely, now what? It is time to start moving forward, to find the beauty in all these experiences. Give a meaning to it that will help you move forward positively.

Meanings like: everything happens for a reason; this will make me wiser and stronger; this will help me in future struggles; God/The Universe or whatever you may believe in is preparing you for a happy life etc.

One of the best things that helped me grow recently is to look at my bad memories and finding the good in them. Looking at the person who hurt me, and to remember what I admired in them and still do. To look at the person who hurt me, and feeling grateful for the good and bad, for the bad has made me much wiser and stronger. In the end, the bad wasn’t bad, it was a stepping stone to greatness.

💕Passion/Hobbies

This is a great place to start. Pain is a powerful emotion, and when it is directed to doing things you love doing, the beauty becomes amplified. Focus on doing things that bring you joy and happiness.

💕 It’s about creating the future you deserve

Stop looking back if it causes you more pain.

You are the creator of your own future. Create a life you love. You deserve to live a long, happy, and fulfilled life. Never accept anything less than you deserve.

Who is your ideal self? answer this and work towards that ideal version of you.

💕Set yourself free

You deserve to be free from everything that weighs you down, whether it is the past, pain, grief, hate, etc. you owe it to yourself to be happy.

💕Gratitude

Turning to gratitude is the fastest way to feel better and turn your pain into purpose, for there is always something to be grateful for, sometimes it only takes a bit more effort to find it.

The power of Gratitude

Quotes

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A woman of strength

Nadia Ngcobo (19)

Nadia is the beautiful young lady who inspired todays post. She is truly a remarkable woman. She is kindhearted and passionate, she spreads goodness and empowerement wherever she goes. She has learnt to put her pain towards good.

She speaks at schools and tries to relate to the stories she hears and tries to help people realize that there is a lot that can come out of pain. She tries to empower these students, as well as contribute sanitary pads, school uniforms, cosmetics, etc. by gaining sponsorships and donations.

Her mother physically and emotionally abused her and even deprived her of food. When she was finally taken into custody she learned how to turn her pain into art; by writing and speaking and helping others. She strives to be a better person than her mother was.

Not too long ago she was also sexually harassed and is still working through some emotions. Thank you Nadia for being so strong, and able to share the terrible things that have happened to you, and to still treat people with kindness and love.

Nadia has already accomplished quite a few things in her life. She was deputy head girl at her school. In 2019 she was South Africa Champion in Afrikaans speakers (redenaars) which is an amazing accomplishment. Like I’ve said before, she speaks at schools, contributes to them physically and mentally. Nadia is destined for greatness.

Nadia’s contribution to Youth Day 2021 South Africa

Something extra: This speech landed her a job offer

Here is the Audio from the Voice Of the Community Radio if you would prefer listening to her speak.

THE YOUTH OF TODAY VERSUS THE YOUTH OF 1976

They were bruised, battered, killed and they rioted, fighting for education. 45 years later, was the uprising worth the lives of the youth of 1976, or has their struggle gone down the drain as the youth of today plunges on resources bringing about negative change?

If the mandate was education, why do we still have schools lacking basic infrastructure and study material? We have an education system that focuses more on the theory of things rather than skills that will equip the youth for the outside world ensuring that they are independent and not dependent on foreign manipulated companies.

If education is important, why do we have so many graduates sitting at home because they do not meet the ridiculous job experience requirements and lack employment opportunities? What message are we bringing across to the young ones that are yet to go to university? Universities that financially excluded students because of their historical debts while they have millions sitting in their bank accounts. Is the South African education system still colonized or is its independence constantly being altered to accommodate the standards of the youth? I mean we went from a 50% pass rate to a 30% pass rate that’s a decline in the progression of our education.

With an unemployment rate of 16,9% in 1976 and an increase to 28,48% in 2020, have we progressed or are we going backward as a country with a laid-back youth? What happened to the spirit of Soweto Uprising martyrs? What happened to the fight for quality education? Why can’t we fight for our rights as we fight for Gender-Based Violence, Fees Must Fall, and the acceptance of the LGBQTI+ community? 

We commit crimes because of unemployment. We live in a society where politicians bathe in corruption and take pride in racketeering. How then do we complain about the 0.7% increase in contact crimes? How then do we continue with an increase in youth pregnancies when we have so many pregnancy preventative methods put in place to control the birth rate? Do we care more about our sexual urges or are we breaking the cycle of raising children in dysfunctional and financially struggling households? We prefer graduating in the form of a child rather than in the form of an academic degree. We live off social grants instead of contributing towards social grants.

Is there anything that the youth of today can show the youth of 1976 for their fight towards where we are today? What is freedom if our minds are still enslaved by colonization? Where is the progression? We are not the tomorrow of this country, we are the today, the now of South Africa. When will we wake up and smell the coffee? When will use the South African Youth council to our advantage? How many seats do we occupy in the Parliament? When will we have our own uprising towards unemployment, education, and the history of our country and continent? 

We as the youth should benefit from government set-asides in government procurement. Let enterprises get contracts if they can prove that 25% of their employees are youth. Let the Government develop legislation that will ensure that the private sector procures 50% of its goods from the youth and local enterprises.

As a young person of South Africa, I want to participate in the value chain. I want to have a say in matters that include me.

Can the youth not venture into agriculture without an increase in farm murders? In March 2021, farm murders increased to 35 from 22. When noble laureate Desmond Tutu called us a rainbow nation it was in reference to the diversity in our country and our ability to perhaps one day live in interracial harmony where colour is just colour. Where colour is not a privilege to some and a crime to others. We kill the very farmers that we want to supply us with local organic vegetables and livestock. We kill the very framers that contribute a lot to this country’s agriculture.  

When I look at my fellow peers, I see future Vusi Themekwayo(s), future Ludwick Marishane(s), I see future Addi Pienaar(s) because we have the potential to be far more than what we’re settling for. We’re too comfortable in poverty. We’re too comfortable with this education. We’re too comfortable with racism. We’re too comfortable in being uncomfortable.

I don’t know you but I’m emancipating myself from colonial mental slavery, racism, corruption, Gender-Based Violence, a colonially influenced education system and I’m creating employment opportunities for myself and the future generation. I am emancipating myself from a country that’s taking one step forward and ten steps backward. I am not the tomorrow of South Africa, I am the today of South Africa. I am the now of South Africa.  I am South Africa.

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Questions to Nadia

What are your hobbies?

I crochet, knit, write and sing.

What is the one thing you look forward to when you wake up?

I look forward to talking to My Love, hearing him tell me how his day is and how much he loves me. I look forward to praying with him, for him, and our families. I look forward to laughing with him. I look forward to growing with him

Favorite colour: Black

Favorite song: Best Part

Favorite author: John Green

Favorite food: Mcdonalds burger

Favorite snack: Doritos

Favorite poem: I rise by Maya Angelo

Favorite person: Jean-Pierre (my boyfriend)

What are your three favorite books?

  • A fault in our stars
  • The Great Gatsby
  • Bear The Blessers Game

How do you define success?

Success is being contented with what you have because you worked hard for it. Success is Love. Success is Happiness and Success is Hope.

What fuels your passion?

Pain. Whatever pain I go through I turn it into something positive and also art. My mother and I aren’t close so the pain she brings me drives me to the better.

What do you want to be?

I want to do Law and become a Human rights lawyer. I have been sexually harassed multiple times so I want to fight for those that cannot fight for themselves.

Who do you look up to the most and why?

Myself. I’ve never met anyone as strong as me so I look up to the person I was yesterday because the person I was yesterday drives me to become a better person today.

My mother never encouraged me to do anything, and she was always against anything I did, so I decided that I am not even going to impress her and I am going to prove myself right. I am going to prove to myself that I am the woman who I say I am. That I am a fountain of grace, strength, and prayer. I don’t work to prove anyone wrong, I work to prove myself right.

Make yourself proud

What inspires and motivates you?

My mother’s inability to love me. Pain and will to be everything that my mother isn’t.

What do you believe in and try to promote?

Responsible citizenship and being the Voice of The Oppressed.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I see myself as a UN speaker representing those that are oppressed by the justice system and men.

How would you describe yourself?

Bold and unapologetic.

5 things you are grateful for

  • Life
  • Family
  • Love
  • Peace
  • Freedom of expression

Do you love yourself?

Yes, I do, to love someone else I need to love myself first.

Would you describe yourself as a confident person?

Yes, I rise above everything with my head held high.

Your best tip on self-love and confidence

Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and cannot be. Never do things to impress people there don’t prove work to prove them wrong, work to prove yourself right.

If you had one year left to live, what would you do?

I would enrich more lives and appreciate the ones I love more.

Do you have any regrets?

Yes. When I got sexually harassed, and my boyfriend warned me but I didn’t listen, if I had listened I wouldn’t have gotten harassed

What are the things you wish to experience and learn about?

I want to experience the love of a mother and learn to forgive and let go of things I cannot control.


What do you think makes life meaningful?

Letting go of the past, living in the present, and looking forward to the future.

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A written piece by Nadia

With tears falling from the corner of her eyes and voice screaming from deep within her soul, he pressed hard against her pride, soul ties that were awaiting marriage, and bold eyes which dug deeper into her soul as she begged for mercy from a merciless cologne infused her purity, silenced her cry and diminished her smile. Even with her eyes closed, she can still see the callous smirk that was once disguised as a courteous young gent raised by an African mother and breastfed by her pain. She felt her insides go numb as her body laid still. Her closed opening burn but the fluids meant to protect her leisurely watching like a wounded activist, stained robes which used to be whiter than the finest grains of virgin snow. Still.. from screaming until her veins mapped the road to Eden, from her hands scratching and pushing to her legs kicking and frozen she went still… for the only voice she had left, was the polluted river whose flows flowed like stretchmarks mapped like the roots of a fruitful apple tree. And even though the sheets were left scarred by a virgin’s cry for mercy. Like the color of her skin, it was her destiny just as it was her ancestors’.


Thank you Nadia for sharing your authentic self 🦋

Can you relate to turning your pain into passion?

Hope you took some value from this post.

Much love and abundance

🙏❤

Your name has a frequency

I was today years old when I discovered our names have frequencies. It has a vibration. Our names hold energy!

And if our names have a frequency, that means all words we speak and think also have frequencies. And if accompanied by emotions that word becomes amplified… No wonder thoughts and spoken words have power.

This is also why the universe responds to spoken words.

For much more information on the frequency of your name, I suggest you view this: 

The Frequency Of Your Name

The Vibration And Energy Of Your Name

Our names hold so many truths about who we are and the potential we have to fulfill our dreams/desires/purpose/destiny.

We can determine our Life path, our Soul urge, and we can dive so much deeper just by using our names, as well as our birthdate.

*only adding the vowels of your name
Add your birth date numbers together

I hope you found something useful/interesting 🌸

Related question

Do you feel a difference when someone calls you by your name from your surname?

I have two names and then my surname; Karlien Jo-Anne Kruger. And I feel differently and respond differently depending on what a person calls me. Calling me Karlien makes me feel vulnerable in a sense with my walls down. And calling me Jo-Anne makes me feel slightly more guarded and or professional.

I also respond differently depending on how they use my names and on the nicknames I have.

This might all be in my head. So I would love to hear your viewings on this.

Nonrelated question:

Another question of my curiosity, and I do hope you give your opinion on this. You can take this in any direction you wish 👣

If you had the chance to experience it all over again. All the joy, all the love, everything, even though you would go through all the hurt, all the pain, all the hate. Would you do it? even though you would get the same ending good/bad?

Why fit in when you were born to stand out

Dr. Suess

Thank you for all the constant love and support! I am truly grateful🙏

May you have a blessed day

Much love and abundance

🙌❤

How you start your morning determines how your day goes

🌸🌸🌸

The energy you bring into your day can have a lasting effect on the rest of your day. Your intention, energy, and mindset should be used to your advantage at the beginning of each day so that you could live your day to your fullest potential and reach your goals more easily.

🌸🌸🌸

Ways to improve how you start your day:

🌸Before going to bed at night

-visualize what you want to do and accomplish during the next day. (Set your intention)

-Set an alarm for early in the morning (My sweet spot is usually between 5 and 6 a.m) If you have work/school, set your alarm for at least 2 hours beforehand. Those two hours can help a lot each day.

If you are someone who needs many alarms to get out of bed, set one half an hour before, one for 10 minutes before and one for 5 minutes before, but get up physically at the five minutes before one so that you still have 5 more minutes to get your act together… Remember to try overtime to get rid of snoozing.

🌸Waking up

-Wake up with a smile. I have found that this improves my mood and positivity tremendously during the day.

Each day is a blessing, and you can treat it as such with a smile.

-Don’t lay in bed longer, get out of bed.

-Make up your bed, because then you’ve already completed a simple task for the day, embedding discipline.

🌸Have a Morning Routine

P.S this is just the tip of the iceberg of the things you can do in the morning. Find a morning routine that suits you.

-Go over your goals for the day (mentally or already have a to-do list). Look forward to completing them; mindset is important.

-Meditate/Journal/Practice gratitude/Read. Do something to improve yourself mentally and/or spiritually.

-Workout for 5-30minutes. This is also a huge mood and determination booster for me.

-Watch a morning motivational video

-Listen to morning affirmations

-Drink a glass of water. Already have a glass of water waiting for you next to your bed.

-Don’t check your social media, you’ll get distracted.


I have found most of these things listed above very helpful to improve my day, productivity, and mood.

Please feel free to share:

-anything you’ve found helpful to have a more successful day

-your morning routine or something you also do in the mornings

-any thoughts at all, related and unrelated🤗

-something random/interesting

Thanks for reading❤

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COVID isn’t the only thing that is contagious

Energies are too!

Whatever you are thinking or feeling, you are projecting onto others.

We each have a chance to influence others. We each have a choice to carry positive or negative vibes/energies. We have the choice to spread love or spread hatred.

Energies are contagious~Make sure yours is worth sharing

mysacredenergy.com › your-energy
Your Energy Is Contagious – My Sacred Energy

We have the power to leave a positive impact on the world with every single encounter.

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Improve positivity

🌸Awareness

Observe your thoughts. See where there is room for improvement. Teach yourself to immediately find a positive outlook if you catch yourself being negative.

🌸Focus on your goals

Do more of what you love. Go after your wildest dreams and goals.

🌸Find more ways to improve yourself, physically, emotionally, spiritually/religiously.

🌸Affirmations

🌸Gratitude

Count your blessings. Keep a daily gratitude journal. Truly feel grateful, for you are blessed in so many ways.

🌸In any situation, step back and look for the silver line. There is some good in any situation, always.

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🌸Try to see the good in others

🌸Surround yourself with positive people

🌸Make more time for the people you love

🌸Practice positive self-talk

🌸Try new things

🌸Listen to music. Music is proven to be a good mood booster and stress reliever.

🌸Don’t voverthink

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I see negative energy as wasted energy, and sadly I’ve wasted so much energy these last few weeks and it is time for a change, time to become a better and more optimistic person for my well-being and others.

I wrote this blog as a personal reminder and hopefully a reminder to you as well, to stay positive and keep spreading love and everything beautiful.

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Thanks for reading🕊❤

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Beauty

First of all, happy international womens day💕
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What Makes A Woman Beautiful? · Evie Magazine

2-6% of women describe themselves as beautiful (according to research)

Isn’t it just heartbreaking to know so many women don’t see themselves as beautiful?

If you are one to doubt your self beauty or don’t feel beautiful or attractive, here are some ways to change and/or improve it.

🌺Feel comfortable/ sexy/ confident with what you are wearing, if you are feeling self-conscious about something about your outfit, change it because your insecurity/self-consciousness will be felt by others.

🌺Know that you are beautiful. You are unmistakeably and breathtakingly beautiful and you should not even for a second doubt it. You were put here on earth by God/ the Universe, so why doubt your beauty when you were beautifully made with purpose?

🌺Smile. Smile more. Smile randomly. Smile at something stupid that someone said years ago. Smile at anything silly. Smile, just smile. In my eyes, there is nothing more beautiful than a genuine smile.

🌺This goes hand in hand with smiling, laugh. Laughter is healing, powerful and a great mood booster.

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🌺Do more of what you love.

Find hobbies. Journal, read paint, anything at all you find fulfilling. Go after what makes you happy and meaningful or even if you think it is pointless. Let me explain the pointless part, I have many hobbies I find pointless, that most likely won’t get me anywhere in life, but I keep on doing it, why? because it gets me into a flow state, ’cause I enjoy it and get satisfaction.

Doing what you love helps to connect you with your deeper self and will leave you appreciating and loving yourself more wich will automatically help you feel more beautiful.

🌺Positive self-affirmations. Trust me, they are powerful when it comes to reprogramming your mind.

🌺Never compare yourself to anyone, to models on media, your best friend, your worst enemy or even your sibling. You are your own kind of beautiful.

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🌺Practice gratitude.

🌺 Exercise, drink water, and eat something healthy. Your body is a temple, treat it as such.

I am not one to speak when it comes to eating healthy at all, believe me, I don’t eat anything that comes out of the ocean, I don’t eat most vegetables and I am big on my sugars. I even drink 4 sugars with my coffee, but I drink less coffee and more black sugarless tea to make up for it. I drink a glass of water when waking up sometimes. I excercise 1-3 times a month.

Basically I want to say that all the little things count. Find simple ways and start small.

🌺Wear red.

A study from researchers at the University of Rochester found women were considered more attractive when they were wearing red clothing. In another study out of Manchester University, red lips were shown to grab attention for an average of 7.3 seconds. No matter where you’re wearing it, looks like the color red will likely attract people to you and make you feel more confident, too.

I feel more fierce, more attractive, and confident when wearing red. Wearing red automatically boosts your confidence.

🌺Stand tall, straighten your back, do a power pose. It all builds confidence subconsciously.

🌺Take care of yourself. Do things that make you feel more beautiful and feminine. Make a DIY face mask, do your nails, cover it with an invisible coat even, have a long bubble bath with your favorite music in the background.

🌺Set goals and work towards them. Try achieving a simple goal each day.

🌺Practice self-love and self-acceptance in any way you know how.

It is time that you love and appreciate and believe in yourself. You are worthy of feeling beautiful. You are worthy of your own love. You are worthy just because you are you. You are enough. In fact, you are more than enough. You are amazing beyond compare.

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Thanks for reading and I hope you found something that resonated with you.

Much love and abundance. Stay awesome and keep improving🔥❤

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Average Sucks

Join this challenge along with me, it is completely FREE.

VIP access is about $40

Michael Bernoff’s 5-day Average Sucks Challenge 8th-12th February https://email.numerologist.com/a/109/click/9270109/750097203/_9c817b4b96cbe97b4f6c54ab49c659e50fbc2f6b/8c9f9335121daf5631ac37fc2aec6eb2aee683e8

‘Average sucks’ is a motivational quote on its own, for me, it is anyway.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be average. That is probably why I started this blog, you may deem it as average where you are from, but I certainly don’t, I don’t know anyone else in my town who blogs. So blogging in itself is already an above-average hobby in my eyes.

‘Average sucks.’ In a way, it motivates me to strive for better and for more, to accomplish more, to push myself and my limits and stop holding back in any way.

Being average sounds lame.

So take advantage of this free challenge, who knows, maybe it will be life-changing🔥👣

Have an amazing weekend and maybe see how you can make it a weekend that is above average for yourself, see how you can accomplish it in the simplest ways.


Last weekend I went to see this waterfall with my boyfriend alongside two other couples. And on top, we took a swim in the river. We also tasted black wine that was brought from Cape-Town that is 2 000km away.

In my eyes, to go swim in the river was above average, because it was something I had never done.

My heart got stuck in my throat at a point. My boyfriend nearly scared me to death and on purpose! So, as I mentioned we swam in the river at the top. There are some points in the river that are a bit deeper, and I was sitting alone in the river, feeling the pull of the waters, while the rest was sitting outside the river on rocks chatting. Mind you the water was a bit freezing, but I enjoyed it. My boyfriend came to join me and when he entered the river, he vanished under the water. Just like that. One second there, the next one he is gone. And obviously, it a river (and the waterfall is just around the corner), and his body was pulled for another about 5-10 meters or so and in a way, I am trying to get to him. My insides were loaded with panic. So then he stood up laughing, and I immediately knew it was done on purpose. Unbelievable!😲😂

He loves testing me with every chance he gets in any way he can. At this point, I think he knows me better than I know myself. Life with him never has a dull moment, that is one thing for sure.

Okay, I’m going to say goodbye now.

Thanks for reading, hope I didn’t bore you till death.

Have an above-average day! or try to at least🤗

👣❤

Hugs and why they are so damn amazing

Yesterday I was at an event and I met someone new, she was much older than me, still, there was an even admiration towards each other and a few meaningful hugs were exchanged and it reminded me of how much I miss those tons of hugs I used to have each day.

Then there were people that I knew my whole life long and every hug from them, long and short, were heartfelt.

There was this one moment I was a bit upset and just sat down outside, quiet and away from most of the people, and someone, who I also have known for long came and asked me if I was alright (she knew everything that went down) and then after I assured her that I was okay and just collecting myself, she pulled me into her arms and I immediately felt comforted, better, and much happier.

I knew I had to make a blog about hugs and then went and created a quick draft post so that I won’t forget. Hugs are truly powerful and like my heading said, pretty “damn amazing”.

Whenever I am having a bad day or is down, all I really need is a good long hug from someone I care about. What makes you instantly feel better?

Benefits of hugging

  • Hugs can make you happier.
  • Hugs are natural stress reducers.
  • It boosts your heart health
  • Can protect you against illnesses
  • Reduces fears, anxiety and even pain
  • Helps with communication skills
  • Improves relationships

The thing is when we hug, our muscles relax, oxytocin and endorphins get released, dopamine and serotonin levels increase… all these boosts your mood and relieves symptoms of depression.

How many hugs we need a day:

  • Hugs should last about three seconds at the least.

Hugging for 20 seconds a day may reduce your stress | News | The …

Hugging someone you love for 20 seconds a day is the key to alleviating stress and beating burnout, according to a new book. A lingering embrace releases the bonding hormone oxytocin, which can lower your blood pressure, slow your heart rate and improve your mood.Mar 3, 2019

Covid-19 is slowly taking away parts of humanity and I can’t wait until most things are back to normal.


Feel free to leave any thoughts and experiences. Thanks for reading.

Much love. Take care🤗💞

How to stop judging others

We judge people on a day to day basis, we even judge ourselves! I wanted to talk about this topic because I too judge other people. No, I am not even a bit proud of judging others and comparing myself to them in a negative way. It is something that I am slowly trying to work out of my life.

Judging is a natural thing, but do you really want to waste energy on something as negative as judging and comparing. I know I certainly don’t and I hope you join me in on this journey to stop judging and downgrading other people.

(Yes I know, there is a positive comparing too, I am only talking about getting rid of every negative aspect in this post.)

Why do we judge?

After doing my fair amount of research I’ve found a simple, and yet, maybe even obvious answer…

*ego* is the core of judgment.

Judgment is an ego trap. The ego competes. We compare ourselves. This is one aspect I failed to include in my previous post (3 Levels of self-comparison)- When we compare ourselves and see ourselves better as they are, we are putting them below us. This is just as bad as, almost even worse than it is to compare ourselves and be unhappy with who we are. We feel better about ourselves when putting others down, so long story short, you are feeding the ego when putting yourself above another person in any way.

The other two common reasons why we judge others are jealousy and our own insecurities.

Yes, judging can be fun, gossiping judgments with your friends, especially frenemies, are even more fun, don’t tell me you’ve never felt good gossiping? In a group it brings a sense of relatability, you share the same judgments and thoughts. As I said, it’s an ego trap, get yourself out of it!

You see that pretty quote you just read a few seconds ago? Read it again. Judging defines who you are and what your values are. Judging is not a pretty look even though it seems so.

Judging other people can have a negative effect on them, or if they are like me, those judgments probably won’t matter, but the thing is, most people don’t take judgment lightly. In fact, you can be bringing some of their worst insecurities or self-judgments and throw them right in their face.

Don’t judge somebody if you haven’t walked a mile in their shoes.

How to stop Judging other people

1. Awareness is key. Become aware when you judge.

2. Immediately tell yourself “Stop it!”

After telling yourself to stop it, tell yourself why you should stop. Tell your mind things like:

  • I don’t know what their life path is all about. We are walking two separate paths
  • I am in no position to judge
  • I am not perfect, neither are they

3. Think about three things that you like about them. It could be something they wear, how they look, how they are wearing their hair or something like their laugh. It could be anything at all.

Sometimes it can be hard, I know, but it is important to reprogram your mind, and what better way to do so, than trading the negative in for the positive?

4. Reflect. Think of the specific judgment that came to mind and think about why you thought this. Usually, something inside of us is wrong and we take it out in funny ways like judgment.

Make a list of scenes and situations when you have judged someone and why you have judged them. Analyze everything thoroughly, this will help you understand yourself better and help you to not judge in the next situation.

5. Remember that word I used earlier, aka, Gossip? Stop all the childish gossip and find something better to discuss than people and their choices in life.

6. Choose your sircle of trust wisely.

Did you know that you are the average person of the five people you spend most of your time with?

So knowing this, won’t you want to surround yourself with the best kind of people? Energies are contagious, so find your high vibe tribe!

7. Do some other self-growth activities, whether spiritual, emotional, or physical. You’ll feel better about yourself and feel less the need to judge someone else.

If you are on the receiving end of this, the one being judged, just remember that it’s their opinion and perspective of you. It may even be jealousy/envy and their own insecurities. Don’t let them get to you. Be who you are, be who you want to be, do what you want to do, and just enjoy your life the way that you want to.


Hope this was helpful🌸 Please feel free to share any related and unrelated thoughts/opinions🤗💞

I have decided that I will be posting every day. Thursdays I’ll be posting flash fiction.

Please never be afraid of giving me a critique, if you don’t agree or didn’t like something, please let me know. The critique will let me know where I can adjust and make improvements for the future. ~Please feel free to always be honest with me.

Thanks for all the support. I truly appreciate every comment, shared thoughts, and experiences, every like and follow.

Enjoy life. Be happy. And be your most authentic self.🌸

Why you should stop caring what people think

Caring what other people think will be the ultimate cause of unhappiness.

Unknown

1. It steals your happiness and freedom.

It makes you feel self-conscious and wary of everything you do and that is no way to live a life.

Do you really want to be imprisoned by their expectations and opinions? Hold yourself back, change yourself, all for what? If there is one thing I’ve learned is that people will judge you no matter what. People differentiate, and it’s not our job to make them like us.

I caught myself hesitating to publish a blog post, because I was wondering- Will the people who view it, like it? Is it good enough? I doubted myself for a moment, but do you know what? I decided I like the post, it is good enough for me and I scheduled it for publishing. Which brings me to my next point.

2. You can’t satisfy everyone.

P.S this is my favorite actress. Who is your favorite actor/actress?

Most of us are raised to be people-pleasers, I know I certainly was in some aspects. People pleasing becomes a bad thing when you value their happiness over yours, people are responsible for their own happiness. It really isn’t your job to satisfy everyone and no matter what, there will always be someoen unhappy. Realise that you and every other person are in totally different worlds, you have different perspectives and you percieve reality different.

People Pleasing hides the real you.

3. It keeps you from your goals and dreams

We would rather do the things that we don’t necessarily want to do, just because it gains us approval. I hear many successful people say that their parents didn’t support their goals, that their parents had another goal for them at the time and were against them becoming an actor/actress, comedian, gamer, singer ect.

What do all those successful people have in common? They didn’t care that no one supported them, that no one approved of their dream. They took risks. They simply believed in themselves.

4. They don’t know what’s best for you

Only you can decide in life what’s best for you. Only you can decide if you’ve made the right choices. Do you want to care so much what people think that one day you look back and realize you’ve done nothing that you actually wanted to do?

It’s your life live it your way. They had/have their chance in life. Life is simply too short to live your life according to them and their expectations for you.

5. Opinions change constantly anyways

A person can suddenly hate you and then like you and vice versa, so why even bother? If they like you or don’t, let ’em be. Once again, you can’t satisfy everyone.

Thanks for reading and remember to be you to the fullest. Approve of yourself. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Motivate yourself. Set your own expectations. Have goals and dream big.

Sorry for the age inappropriateness, but I just love this quote🔥

I am NEVER bored, here’s why…

Believe me when I say that I was an irritating little girl that nearly died of boredom every single day, nagging in everyone’s ears, never satisfied for long with any project, walking up and down a room, sighing, all just to let them know that I am seriously bored.

My grandmother is the main reason that I’m never bored. I told her for, give or take, the hundredth time that I’m bored. My grandmother set her paintbrush aside and looked at me really looked at me, a look that made me swallow my words and pay close attention.

My grandmother was an artist of every kind, I never heard her complaining when it came to boredom. She knew how to draw, paint with different mediums, color, doodle, write, works with pastels, do bobbin lace, knitting, crochet, make greeting cards, paint rocks, bake; whatever could be done with the hands she could probably do. She was also a collector of stamps, that kept her busy for hours for weeks trying to sort everything out.

Though I can’t remember her exact words, she pointed out to me that if you’re bored you’re not living your life but instead wasting it… It is true, isn’t it? People spend hours feeling bored although there’s a lot one can do.

The opposite of happiness is not sadness. It’s boredom.

~Unknown

So? how am I never bored:

  • Even if there’s nothing I want to do or nothing that needs to be done, I dream big, I travel into my past or visualize my future.
  • I have many hobbies and interests
  • I am busy learning a new language
  • I like taking care of my body- exercise, skincare, long baths
  • I improve my environment-tidy up, declutter
  • Social media, isn’t it just a wonderful gift?
  • I discovered my passion~writing
  • I am a curious person
  • If a thing doesn’t interest me anymore, I move on. As simple as that. (I have a hard time committing to things for a long period., but I don’t allow it to keep me from doing something else, I also don’t let the feeling of boredom creep into my system.)
  • I have pets, that need to be taken care of and need my undivided love and attention
  • I have my fair share of chores
  • Friends and family
  • Gratefulness also plays its part
  • My three most-used apps, besides WordPress of course.YouTube. Pinterest. Instagram.
  • I see boredom as a negative emotion, and I try to rid of it. I don’t like how boredom used to make me feel, it took some time to get rid of boredom but it’s worth it.
  • WordPress, how could you be bored when there are thousands of different articles and people?
  • I love learning and trying new things
  • I have a younger sibling, and she’s a handful
  • School/Studies

I’m always doing something even when I’m doing nothing.

The two most helpful things to never be bored, in my opinion, would be passion and curiosity.

Are you a person who is bored often? Are you never bored? How do you keep yourself busy? How do you spend your days? What is your passion in life? Please tell me more about yourself in the comments, I genuinly would love to hear all about you🤗

Please check out Blanca’s page https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/107419381

Thanks for stopping by, enjoy what is left of the day. Namaste🌸

…..Something completely of topic😜🤗

Today the most insightful realization hit me. I have changed so much this year, in the most positive way. One of my goals for this year was self-growth, ’cause last year was a rollercoaster of the good and bad, and it was time for an internal change. I only realized hours after I properly woke, that I actually had an awful beginning this morning and the rest of my day also didn’t go according to plan. I had a goal to try and get in routine for this week because on Monday it is back to school for me, but nothing worked in my favor. Long story short, all my plans and goals were demolished and I had no power over it, and it didn’t affect my mood as much, in the past, I would’ve been negative and grumpy the rest of the day… I just felt the need to share this for some reason… Heres to self-growth🥂🍻 I hope Lockdown/2020 brought something special or positive into your life aswell🔥🤗