How to stop judging others

We judge people on a day to day basis, we even judge ourselves! I wanted to talk about this topic because I too judge other people. No, I am not even a bit proud of judging others and comparing myself to them in a negative way. It is something that I am slowly trying to work out of my life.

Judging is a natural thing, but do you really want to waste energy on something as negative as judging and comparing. I know I certainly don’t and I hope you join me in on this journey to stop judging and downgrading other people.

(Yes I know, there is a positive comparing too, I am only talking about getting rid of every negative aspect in this post.)

Why do we judge?

After doing my fair amount of research I’ve found a simple, and yet, maybe even obvious answer…

*ego* is the core of judgment.

Judgment is an ego trap. The ego competes. We compare ourselves. This is one aspect I failed to include in my previous post (3 Levels of self-comparison)- When we compare ourselves and see ourselves better as they are, we are putting them below us. This is just as bad as, almost even worse than it is to compare ourselves and be unhappy with who we are. We feel better about ourselves when putting others down, so long story short, you are feeding the ego when putting yourself above another person in any way.

The other two common reasons why we judge others are jealousy and our own insecurities.

Yes, judging can be fun, gossiping judgments with your friends, especially frenemies, are even more fun, don’t tell me you’ve never felt good gossiping? In a group it brings a sense of relatability, you share the same judgments and thoughts. As I said, it’s an ego trap, get yourself out of it!

You see that pretty quote you just read a few seconds ago? Read it again. Judging defines who you are and what your values are. Judging is not a pretty look even though it seems so.

Judging other people can have a negative effect on them, or if they are like me, those judgments probably won’t matter, but the thing is, most people don’t take judgment lightly. In fact, you can be bringing some of their worst insecurities or self-judgments and throw them right in their face.

Don’t judge somebody if you haven’t walked a mile in their shoes.

How to stop Judging other people

1. Awareness is key. Become aware when you judge.

2. Immediately tell yourself “Stop it!”

After telling yourself to stop it, tell yourself why you should stop. Tell your mind things like:

  • I don’t know what their life path is all about. We are walking two separate paths
  • I am in no position to judge
  • I am not perfect, neither are they

3. Think about three things that you like about them. It could be something they wear, how they look, how they are wearing their hair or something like their laugh. It could be anything at all.

Sometimes it can be hard, I know, but it is important to reprogram your mind, and what better way to do so, than trading the negative in for the positive?

4. Reflect. Think of the specific judgment that came to mind and think about why you thought this. Usually, something inside of us is wrong and we take it out in funny ways like judgment.

Make a list of scenes and situations when you have judged someone and why you have judged them. Analyze everything thoroughly, this will help you understand yourself better and help you to not judge in the next situation.

5. Remember that word I used earlier, aka, Gossip? Stop all the childish gossip and find something better to discuss than people and their choices in life.

6. Choose your sircle of trust wisely.

Did you know that you are the average person of the five people you spend most of your time with?

So knowing this, won’t you want to surround yourself with the best kind of people? Energies are contagious, so find your high vibe tribe!

7. Do some other self-growth activities, whether spiritual, emotional, or physical. You’ll feel better about yourself and feel less the need to judge someone else.

If you are on the receiving end of this, the one being judged, just remember that it’s their opinion and perspective of you. It may even be jealousy/envy and their own insecurities. Don’t let them get to you. Be who you are, be who you want to be, do what you want to do, and just enjoy your life the way that you want to.

Hope this was helpful🌸 Please feel free to share any related and unrelated thoughts/opinions🤗💞

I have decided that I will be posting every day. Thursdays I’ll be posting flash fiction.

Please never be afraid of giving me a critique, if you don’t agree or didn’t like something, please let me know. The critique will let me know where I can adjust and make improvements for the future. ~Please feel free to always be honest with me.

Thanks for all the support. I truly appreciate every comment, shared thoughts, and experiences, every like and follow.

Enjoy life. Be happy. And be your most authentic self.🌸


  1. Karlien, well-written, great quotes, and a meaningful message. Very nicely done! In my opinion, if you can be nonjudgemental this early in life, you are very mature and have a big headstart in life! All the best! Cheryl

    Liked by 5 people

  2. I S R A E L says:

    Nice tutorial

    Liked by 3 people

  3. ashok says:

    Very well put Karlien.
    For decades my practical concept of spirituality has been: Non Judgement and Living in the Now.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Nice suggestion Karlien. I think that judging someone based on their past is not at all fair, time changes and so people changes. People try to improve and get better with time. Judging someone is not at all good, but then evaluating is necessary, so that you can help them grow. Like for example, suppose you have a friend who is trying to be a singer, he sings and send you his audio recording to get an honest feedback, then you should evaluate honestly, that this time you are better that previous recording or you need to improve, or your previous recording was better than now. This way you help your friend grow.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. karlien09 says:

    Thank you, ma’am. Nonjudgment is something I noticed myself doing a few weeks ago and have been working on ever since. I’m not completely there yet, but I can already see the change in my energy now that I’m not wasting it anymore.

    Thanks for the support🤗💞

    Liked by 1 person

  6. karlien09 says:


    Liked by 1 person

  7. karlien09 says:

    That is a very great concept, one that I’ll remember. Thanks for sharing🤗💞

    Liked by 2 people

  8. karlien09 says:

    I aggree with everything. Very true and wise words! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and perspectives, it is very much appreciated.🤗💞

    Liked by 2 people

  9. ashok says:

    My pleasure Karlien 😊🤗
    What does 09 stand for? 9 is an important number in my life

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Most welcome Karlien 🤗😊

    Liked by 2 people

  11. karlien09 says:

    Everything here is researched answers. What is your religion if I may ask?

    Angel Number 9 means- God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

    Be it ‘navaratri’ or ‘navagrahas’, number nine is a significant part of the Indian psyche from time immemorial. … Not to talk of the numeral 9, which is often cited as a ‘lucky number’ for many these days! The ‘Fruit of the Spirit’ comprises nine graces: love, peace, suffering, gentle, good, faith, meek, and temperance. Oct 6, 2011 › article2…
    The mystical number nine – The Hindu

    Completeness of God
    Number 9 is mentioned in the Bible, but not too often as some other numbers. This number is used in the Bible 49 times and its biblical symbolism is considered to be very important. Number 9 is a symbol of the completeness of God and also a symbol of finality. It means that God completed his creation and all His promises.

    Chinese people like 9 very much as 9 has the same pronunciation with 久 (Jiu, meaning everlasting). On the Valentine’s Day, a man usually presents his lover 99 or 999 roses to symbolize eternal love.

    Was this helpful? I personally love angel numbers, because they are usually accurate and guidance in my life, especially when I notice synchronicities.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. karlien09 says:

    May I also ask why number 9 is important for you?

    Liked by 2 people

  13. ashok says:

    About my religion I had written a post : What is your religion
    I was born a Hindu but if you ask me my religion it is: Kindness and Compassion. And my God is Love. What about you ?

    Thank you so much for the details of number 9. I thought it might have some significance for you personally.
    My life path number is 9, and so was it of my mother, my wife and is of my daughter in law and grand daughter 😊😇

    Liked by 2 people

  14. karlien09 says:

    I have been raised as a Christian, but I am testing for my self, finding what I believe in, and not what I was raised to believe in.

    Wow, That is amazing. My life path number is 6. Life path number 6 is the number of responsibility and awareness. They are incredible nurturers. They tend to be home family or community-oriented and tend to be more loving, warm, understanding, compassionate, responsible, and reliable, and interested in pleasing others. Caretaker and provider and enjoy being of service to others. Life revolves around home and family and parenting instincts are very strong.

    Life path 9 is one of insight, generosity, emotion, compassion, global awareness, interpretation, diversity, and strength. 9 contains a little bit of all the other numbers, as well as many unique characteristics of its own. Its influence makes you versatile and unusual.
    Leader-they is willing to sacrifice themselves to be of help for others.
    Mission: Recognize and use creativity, intuition, and healing capabilities to benefit humanity.

    I find your life path number quite interesting and to hear that so many of you are life path 9’s. You truly have the power to influence the world.

    I find Life Path numbers, Soul urge numbers,destiny numbers, zodiac signs, very interesting because it tells us more about why we were put here on earth.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. ashok says:

    So good to hear all this Karlien. Where do you live?

    Try out teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda- non sectarian. When he went to the US who taught the Christians there that going to the church on Sundays doesn’t make us Christians but by manifesting Christ like qualities. He interpreted bible and other gospels and showed that the core teaching of Jesus Christ and Lord Krishna was essentially same.
    If you live in India then checkout and outside India

    Stay happy. Stay safe. Stay blessed

    Liked by 2 people

  16. karlien09 says:

    South Africa and you?

    Thanks, I’ll check it out. For now, I am growing spiritually and not religiously.

    You as well🤗 Thanks for this interesting conversation, I enjoyed it
    Take care!❤

    Liked by 2 people

  17. ashok says:

    I live in Pune, India and last year visited all the continents except Africa. Was planning to do Africa this summer 😹

    The path I am following and suggesting is deeply spiritual. Nothing to do with religion 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  18. karlien09 says:

    Wow! That is incredible. Which has been your favorite continent so far? And which specific place do you recommend I see one day?

    I will be happy to check it out. Thanks for the suggestion🤗💞

    Liked by 1 person

  19. ashok says:

    Every place has something different to offer Karlien. Depends a lot on our tastes and preferences. Being in SA I would think to begin with Europe should be ideal.

    I had covered 4 continents in first four months of last year and covered 4 new countries in 2019. And now more than 5 months at home 😹

    I love places but people are more important for me. My very first post was Around the World with Love 💕 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  20. karlien09 says:

    Wow, your journey seems incredible. Europe was always one of the places I wanted to travel to first, places like Italy.

    😂Shame. Are you at least enjoying your stay?

    I’ll check your post out, I’d love to know more. People are quite interesting and enjoyable, especially their believes, cultures, and personalities.

    How did you get it right to be so fortunate to travel the world? Hard work and a lot of savings? Do you own businesses?

    Liked by 2 people

  21. ashok says:

    Oh yes Karlien I am enjoying this period to go within. And meditation, reading and writing. God sent time for me. I am almost always happy and grateful 😊🙏

    My blog is filled with my travels 😊

    Italy is very much in my bucket list too. There is lots to see in Europe

    Nope, neither business nor hard work – only love and His grace 😊💖

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Nathi says:

    A well written post, Karlien!

    Liked by 3 people

  23. karlien09 says:

    Thank you🤗💞

    Liked by 2 people

  24. karlien09 says:

    🤗💞Your journey seems amazing
    Thanks for sharing❤

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Well penned!!!

    If you want to do anything then start by yourself!

    If you want to judge others then start from yours, if you are perfect one then n only then looks around for perfectionism!!😁😁

    Liked by 2 people

  26. I S R A E L says:


    Liked by 2 people

  27. karlien09 says:

    Thanks for reading and leaving your wonderful thoughts it is very much appreciated🤗💞

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Nathi says:

    You’re welcome 😇

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Proxywords says:

    Hey! I have nominated you for the Mystery blogger award.
    Please check my recent post!

    Liked by 1 person

  30. chioma❤ says:

    Nice piece!

    Liked by 4 people

  31. karlien09 says:

    Thank you so much🤗💞

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Yes, your most welcome Karlien..😋🤗

    It’s my absolute pleasure to share my views!!🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  33. Ramya Vivek says:

    Well written👍. Very well articulated.

    Liked by 2 people

  34. karlien09 says:

    Thank you very much😄🤗💞

    Liked by 1 person

  35. karlien09 says:

    Thank you very much🤗 Thanks for reading and taking some of your time to leave your thoughts, it means a great deal to me🤗💞

    Liked by 2 people

  36. Manish Malu says:

    This is amazing post… Very well written…🤗🤗💕

    Liked by 2 people

  37. You are welcome. 🤗 I wish you good fortune 💫🥂

    Liked by 2 people

  38. karlien09 says:

    Thank you very much🤗💞 I appreciate your support dearly🌸❤

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Manish Malu says:

    My pleasure dear..🤗💕


  40. karlien09 says:

    Likewise! take care💞

    Liked by 2 people

  41. Hai dear,

    How are you ?
    I couldn’t be here properly during this week. I wasn’t feeling well.
    I hope you are doing well.

    Take care.

    Lots of love,
    Aleesha Thomas

    Liked by 5 people

  42. karlien09 says:

    Hi Aleesha🤗💞

    I am doing great thanks, are you better?
    Its no problem, just glad you are back😄💕

    Thanks for reaching out, do hope that things are going much better and if you ever want to talk about it you can talk with me at my email or in the comment section, however, you feel comfortable🤗

    Much Love💞
    Karlien Kruger

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Proxywords says:

    Very well written Karlein.
    Putting yourself in the first place to adopt such practice is great! All of us should really stop judging.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Very comprehensive article, self satisfaction missing these days your words can help to see 👀 ourselves in better way, nicely written 🙏

    Liked by 3 people

  45. karlien09 says:

    😄Very happy to hear that. Thank you, and thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts💞
    Take care🤗💞

    Liked by 2 people

  46. ChallEngEr says:

    Definitely an ego problem 😄

    Liked by 2 people

  47. karlien09 says:

    For sure😉🤗💞

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Joel Abakah says:

    The seventh picture… I honestly think it solves it all. We’re not perfect beings. And if we’d just understand this fact well enough, judging others wrongly or negatively would never cross our minds
    Thanks for sharing 💚

    Liked by 2 people

  49. karlien09 says:

    Very true indeed!
    Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts on this🤗💞

    Liked by 2 people

  50. Nice post! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  51. karlien09 says:


    Liked by 2 people

  52. Ena says:

    Very important message.

    Liked by 3 people

  53. karlien09 says:


    Liked by 2 people

  54. Reblogged this on Emerging From The Dark Night and commented:
    A brilliant post on judgement.. Getting a handle on how we judge internally and externally takes energy and work but the rewards are well worth it…

    Liked by 3 people

  55. karlien09 says:

    Thank you so much, dear, it is very much appreciated🌸
    Much Love. Take care🤗💕

    Liked by 1 person

  56. My pleasure I loved your post.

    Liked by 2 people

  57. I really like this. I agree it is such a destructive behavior. I especially appreciate the Dr. Dyer quote and the very tangible steps in reflecting and overcoming. I think the recommendation “think of 3 positive qualities” of the other is an excellent strategy. (As always, thank you for your reflections)

    Liked by 3 people

  58. karlien09 says:

    Thanks for the appreciation and thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, it is very much appreciated💕 I find that this strategy helps me a lot🔥
    Much love. Take care🤗💕

    Liked by 2 people

  59. pythoblack says:

    I am sorry, but it is impossible for me not to link my little “Don’t Judge” story. Only read it if you are brave.
    For someone who is so young, you have extraordinary insight. It takes many people (myself included) many years to even realize we are judging at all! Of course, it is easy to say “don’t judge” but obviously there are behaviors that must be condemned if culture and society are to remain safe and endurable. The trick is in differentiating behaviors, people, and souls. Then again, even with behaviors, there are some behaviors which are relatively harmless but we judge because they do not fit into our worldviews, ideologies, or religious beliefs. Thanks!

    Liked by 3 people

  60. karlien09 says:

    Thanks for sharing🤗💕 True, not judging is easier said than done.
    Thanks for your insights and I’ll be happy to check out your post!🌸

    Thanks for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts and post with me, it is very much appreciated.💞
    Much love. Take care🤗💕

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Hamish says:

    Your writing has been so insightful and encouraging to read. 😊 As such I have shared a link to your blog on my “Ideal Inspiration Blogging Award” post. I don’t subscribe to the idea that people must accept a nomination, but if you feel up to making a similar post you’ll find my questions on my latest post.

    Liked by 2 people

  62. karlien09 says:

    Thank you so much, it is a highly appreciated compliment.😄💞

    Thanks, that is a great way of doing this. Unfortunately, I have decided to become an award-free blogger. Thank you though🌸💕

    Much love and abundance. Take good care.💕🤗

    Liked by 1 person

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