We judge people on a day to day basis, we even judge ourselves! I wanted to talk about this topic because I too judge other people. No, I am not even a bit proud of judging others and comparing myself to them in a negative way. It is something that I am slowly trying to work out of my life.
Judging is a natural thing, but do you really want to waste energy on something as negative as judging and comparing. I know I certainly don’t and I hope you join me in on this journey to stop judging and downgrading other people.
(Yes I know, there is a positive comparing too, I am only talking about getting rid of every negative aspect in this post.)
Why do we judge?
After doing my fair amount of research I’ve found a simple, and yet, maybe even obvious answer…
*ego* is the core of judgment.
Judgment is an ego trap. The ego competes. We compare ourselves. This is one aspect I failed to include in my previous post (3 Levels of self-comparison)- When we compare ourselves and see ourselves better as they are, we are putting them below us. This is just as bad as, almost even worse than it is to compare ourselves and be unhappy with who we are. We feel better about ourselves when putting others down, so long story short, you are feeding the ego when putting yourself above another person in any way.
The other two common reasons why we judge others are jealousy and our own insecurities.
Yes, judging can be fun, gossiping judgments with your friends, especially frenemies, are even more fun, don’t tell me you’ve never felt good gossiping? In a group it brings a sense of relatability, you share the same judgments and thoughts. As I said, it’s an ego trap, get yourself out of it!
You see that pretty quote you just read a few seconds ago? Read it again. Judging defines who you are and what your values are. Judging is not a pretty look even though it seems so.
Judging other people can have a negative effect on them, or if they are like me, those judgments probably won’t matter, but the thing is, most people don’t take judgment lightly. In fact, you can be bringing some of their worst insecurities or self-judgments and throw them right in their face.
How to stop Judging other people
1. Awareness is key. Become aware when you judge.
2. Immediately tell yourself “Stop it!”
After telling yourself to stop it, tell yourself why you should stop. Tell your mind things like:
- I don’t know what their life path is all about. We are walking two separate paths
- I am in no position to judge
- I am not perfect, neither are they
3. Think about three things that you like about them. It could be something they wear, how they look, how they are wearing their hair or something like their laugh. It could be anything at all.
Sometimes it can be hard, I know, but it is important to reprogram your mind, and what better way to do so, than trading the negative in for the positive?
4. Reflect. Think of the specific judgment that came to mind and think about why you thought this. Usually, something inside of us is wrong and we take it out in funny ways like judgment.
Make a list of scenes and situations when you have judged someone and why you have judged them. Analyze everything thoroughly, this will help you understand yourself better and help you to not judge in the next situation.
5. Remember that word I used earlier, aka, Gossip? Stop all the childish gossip and find something better to discuss than people and their choices in life.
6. Choose your sircle of trust wisely.
Did you know that you are the average person of the five people you spend most of your time with?
So knowing this, won’t you want to surround yourself with the best kind of people? Energies are contagious, so find your high vibe tribe!
7. Do some other self-growth activities, whether spiritual, emotional, or physical. You’ll feel better about yourself and feel less the need to judge someone else.
If you are on the receiving end of this, the one being judged, just remember that it’s their opinion and perspective of you. It may even be jealousy/envy and their own insecurities. Don’t let them get to you. Be who you are, be who you want to be, do what you want to do, and just enjoy your life the way that you want to.
Hope this was helpful🌸 Please feel free to share any related and unrelated thoughts/opinions🤗💞
I have decided that I will be posting every day. Thursdays I’ll be posting flash fiction.
Please never be afraid of giving me a critique, if you don’t agree or didn’t like something, please let me know. The critique will let me know where I can adjust and make improvements for the future. ~Please feel free to always be honest with me.
Thanks for all the support. I truly appreciate every comment, shared thoughts, and experiences, every like and follow.
Enjoy life. Be happy. And be your most authentic self.🌸